He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Too much gin, very little bucket
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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