i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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