So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I lost the right to judge tonight
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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