just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
