420 ftw
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
porn star boner night. come get it.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
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