I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
