wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
