great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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