I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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