my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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