he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
