Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
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