If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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