Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
oh god the rape fog is back!
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
