i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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