I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
