I want to walk on stilts...naked
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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