Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
