I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize
