fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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