No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
