It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize