I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
