Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
