i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
