hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I woke up under a house in Key West
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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