I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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