Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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