Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
