oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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