you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
