I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
