a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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