its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
