let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
i think i just naturally attract stoners
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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