Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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