he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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