It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Randomize
