i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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