No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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