I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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