you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
