Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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