He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
