R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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