Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
