Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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