tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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