How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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