According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
