woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
