South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
