so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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