I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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