Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
