We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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