to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
