After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
