I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
