Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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