Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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