Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
the night ended with taco bell and tears
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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