you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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