You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
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