I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Randomize